Interview with Joan

Advice to parents these days.

That you give your children unconditional love always, even though it could be quite difficult at times. 

That you give your children as much ‘quality time’, as free of today’s myriad distractions, as you can manage.

That you teach your children independence and self-reliance for those times when you can’t be there. 

That your children know you will give your honest answer to all their questions, even as you know that they might not appreciate some of your answers. 

That you’ll always “have their back”.

What is my favourite meal of all time?

A Taco Bell version of a Chalupa, almost a cult icon. It has a crispy and flaky and chewy outer shell, wrapped around all your favourite taco ingredients. It’s a bit like a quesadilla but more crunchy, and a bit like a taco but less brittle.

Take a traditional flatbread, something already awesome in its own right, and fry it. ... Fill the flatbread shell with seasoned beef, a three-cheese blend, lettuce, tomatoes, and reduced fat sour cream, and you get a Dante-esque culinary anomaly. You get the Chalupa Supreme. 

What isn’t worth stressing about?

Practically everything, especially ’the small stuff’. Thumbs up to Richard Carlson.

Secret to happiness. 

I’m not wishing to be a curmudgeon, but I don’t think we have to be happy ALL the time. I’ve always just tried to be content with what I have, appreciative of my mostly good fortune, and reminiscent of the fact that when sorrow strikes it will not be forever. I reflect on the Buddha's saying that nothing is permanent, and I take this to mean both happiness and sadness. 

Advice to my younger self.

Way back in the early 50s, at primary school, it was de riguer to have an Autograph Book into which we would request that our teachers, parents, or friends would write some words of wisdom based on their lives and experiences. Many of those thoughts stay with me to this day and often come to mind in various situations. One of my mother’s quotes, frequently repeated, was “It’s later than you think”, and I think that would be my best advice to my younger self. I also think it is still what my dear mum would advise my younger self.

The most important thing about being a parent. 

 I think Kahlil Gibran expresses it most beautifully:

On Children by Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable. 

If you could be any animal, what would it be?

I would choose to be my daughter’s cat Skittles, who can do no wrong. She rules the roost and her every comfort is seen to, no matter the time of day or night . By contrast, I would NOT like to be my daughter’s OTHER cat, Ellie, who although she receives the same care and attention, is unmoved and unappreciative. She shares this attitude with her French cousin Henri, le chat noir: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q34z5dCmC4M&t=50s